To be a mom.

Being a mom is hard, like really hard. Some days it takes everything I have not to lock myself in my closet with a package of Oreos and just cry. Is that a little much? Maybe I shouldn't write this while I'm on the verge of closet time. 

Neither one of my boys have had a nap today and are beyond grumpy. That, along with trying to get back on the school schedule which means going to bed an hour earlier and waking up a lot earlier is pushing them over the edge. So now at 5:58 p.m., I am praying they just pass out on the couch so I can have an evening in peace. *UPDATE: youngest is now out - 6:20 p.m.*

I always wonder if I am making the right decisions when it comes to raising my boys. Am I being too strict? Do I yell at them too much? Do I say no too much? Am I losing control? Should I spank them? There are so many people out there with so many opinions. So many people that say oh I will never do that or my child will never do that. Makes you second guess everything you are doing as a parent. You should never (only time you can say this word) compare your children to others. Your children will not be like others and the methods of parenting that work for some might not work for you and your family. And never say never. I have eaten so many of my words as a mother that I have learned not to say that nasty word. I have had people say it to me, that their child will never do that and guess what, they did! 

I know that my boys will test me, and that I will have to test a dozen methods until I find out what works for my family. I think we are on to something now thanks to some help from a wonderful  family friend. The hardest thing to remember, is that it will get worse before it gets better. That consistency is the key, which is hard when you are exhausted and ready to just give in as a parent. It's hard to stick to your guns. 

So for anyone out there that might be thinking that you are not doing a good job or that you are the only one feeling like a bad mom, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! It's normal. It's part of the job. There are a million moms out there that feel the same way, I am one of them. 

And I can promise you, that when your baby looks at you and tells you that he loves you and you are the best mom ever, he means it! And he is right!